Author: Mark

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LDS Church Must Acknowledge Sex Abuse Problem for Change to Happen

For the LDS Church to change its policies regarding sex abuse, it must first admit there is a systemic problem in the institutional organization. Since some victims are silenced with non-disclosure agreements and others are afraid to speak up because they fear retribution from their perpetrators or from the Church, we will never know the extent of the abuse. However, physicians and therapists in heavily Mormon populated areas state that a number of their patients or clients are victims of ecclesiastical sexual or physical abuse.

The following is a brief list of a few LDS bishops and leaders who have been convicted of sexually abusing members. Since only one-third of those who are sexually abused report abuse to police and only 6 out of 1000 are convicted, there are many LDS leaders who do not have a criminal record but who abuse members or spouses without being held accountable.

♦“In September 2008, LDS Church BishopTimothy McCleve pleaded guilty to sexually molesting children from his ward. He was sentenced in December 2008 to one-to-15 year prison terms for the abuse.

♦“In March 2010, former LDS Church bishop Lon Kennard, Sr. was charged with 43 felony counts of sex abuse and sexual exploitation of children, and was imprisoned in Wasatch County, Utah”. In November 2011, Kennard was sentenced to three terms of five-years-to-life in prison to be served consecutively, after pleading guilty to three first-degree felony counts of aggravated sex abuse of a child for sexually abusing his daughters.

♦“In December 2013, LDS Church bishop Todd Michael Edwards was sentenced to three years in prison for molesting two teenage girls who attended his congregation in Menifee, California”. Edwards received two concurrent sentences of three years in prison for two felony counts of sexual battery and sexual penetration with a foreign object. A felony charge of witness intimidation was dismissed as part of a plea bargain with prosecutors after Edwards pleaded guilty.

♦“On August 15, 2017, MormonLeaks published a three-hundred and sixteen-page document which contained confirmed and alleged instances of child sexual abuse between 1959 and 2017.

♦“On October 30, 2017, an Australian court sentenced Darran Scott to 10 years in prison for sexually abusing boys, some of whom he met as a Mormon leader.”[1]

Many more accounts of LDS abuse regarding LDS members, including women and children have been compiled. Most victims suffer in silence because they have been ignored by Church leaders, been threatened by excommunication for disclosing their abuse, or have signed non-disclosure agreements after reporting abuse.

When members are required to obey and sustain their bishops and are told that each of one of them is called by the Lord under revelation, they become easy targets of perpetrators and are often disbelieved or blamed if they report abuse, especially is an ecclesiastical leader is a perpetrator. Some bishops were violent and malevolent offenders before they were called. Although many are kind and caring individuals, it is unhelpful and even dangerous to suggest that all of them are called of God. Surely, God would not call a rapist, child molester, thief, or murderer, and yet many have been convicted of these crimes and more.

Until LDS Church leaders acknowledge that there is a problem regarding ecclesiastical sexual abuse in the Church, they will not take measures to solve it.  Current LDS Church policies continue to silence victims and empower perpetrators.  This is unacceptable. The Church must enact effectual policies and programs that protect members and not perpetrators. Until that happens, we will continue to see an epidemic of abuse that is not only permitted but encouraged by the practices that it employs.

 

 

 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.—Matthew 18:6

 

1.See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mormon_abuse_cases.

RESOURCES:

Joe E. Trull & James E. Carter, Ministerial Ethics: Being a Good Minister In A Not-So-Good World (Nashville: Broadman & Holman, 1993), 81.

Dr. Kris Helge and Bradley T. B. Toben, “Sexual Misconduct of Clergypersons with Congregants or Parishioners,” Clergy Sexual Misconduct and Prevention, Baylor University.

“Grooming Dynamic,” National Center for Prevention of Crime. http://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/grooming-dynamic-of-csa

Rosemary Webb and Jennifer Mitchell, “A Profile of a Child Molester,” Child Lures Prevention, 2018. https://childluresprevention.com/resources/molester-profile/

Tim Challis, “Six Reasons Why Sexual Predators Target Churches,” 9 March 2015. https://www.challies.com/articles/6-reasons-why-sexual-predators-target-churches/

 

 

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The LDS Church Needs to Follow Its Own Teachings

“And your churches, yea, even everyone, have become polluted because of the pride of your hearts. For behold, ye do love money, and your substance, and your fine apparel, and the adorning of your churches, more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted.”

“Alma saw the wickedness of the church…Yea, he saw great inequality among the people, some lifting themselves up with their pride, turning their backs upon the needy & the naked and those who were hungry, & those who were athirst, and those who were sick & afflicted.”

“But wo unto the rich, who are rich as to the things of the world. For because they are rich they despise the poor, & they persecute the meek, and their hearts are upon their treasures; wherefore, their treasure is their god. And behold, their treasure shall perish with them also.”

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.”

Jesus said, “The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater. “But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee…So is he that layeth up treasure for himself.”

Jesus said, “No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. ” And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.”

“Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.”

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives less than 1/2 of 1% of its tithes to help the poor and needy in humanitarian work. Surely, with its vast wealth, it can do better to follow its own scriptural teachings.

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Open Letter to the First Presidency of the LDS Church

Dear First Presidency,

As leaders of the Corporation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you state that our church is the gold standard in protecting children from child abuse. In order to achieve that goal, all members, including leaders, must report child abuse immediately. Everyone working with children and youth should undergo a background check. No one with a history of child abuse should work with kids, and bishops should not meet alone with children in one-on-one worthiness interviews.

You claim to be a world leader in humanitarian work, but less than 1% of our tithes are used for that purpose. With the great wealth of our church, we know the church could dedicate 25% of its income to that purpose, and many lives would be saved.

Until you decide to protect the children in our children and help the poor and needy as Jesus said we should do, we will be donating our tithes to organizations that do just that and have financial records that prove that they do so.

Sincerely,

Many faithful LDS members

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Section 132 in Standard English

1-10   Joseph Smith asked me, God, why I allowed Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, and Solomon why they had many wives and female slaves, and I told him to listen to me and obey the rules I will give him. If I give you the rules, you have to obey them. I give you a new and eternal covenant and if you don’t follow me, you will be destroyed. You must obey it to come back to me. If you want a blessing from me, you must obey this law. And this is it: That every marriage vow must be sealed by the Holy Ghost, and I have given the power to do this to Joseph Smith. Only one person on earth will have this power, and he is the one. He alone has the keys of the priesthood and any other marriages that he does not certify will end with death. My house is a house of order, not confusion.

11-24, You can’t come back to live with me, God, forever unless you obey the law that I give you through the prophet. So, if you marry someone without the prophet’s authorization, your marriage will end with death and you can be a ministering servant for all eternity, but you won’t be allowed to marry. You will be single forever. But, if you marry in the covenant which the prophet alone can authorize, you will pass the angels and the gods after you die and you will inherit my glory. So, if you marry someone by my word, you will arise in the first resurrection and you will inherit thrones, empires, authorities, territories, and powers, and your name will be recorded in the Lamb’s Book of Life. As long as you don’t murder anyone, you will be exalted and you will be able to have children forever. And you will be gods forever and ever, and you will rule over the angels. But if you don’t follow my rule about marriage, you won’t get these blessings, and only a few will get them. If you follow this rule, you will live with me forever, for I am Jesus Christ, so receive my law.

25- 45 Now, if you are married by my rules and don’t murder, you will come forward in the first resurrection, but I will kill you if you murder an innocent person and will give you to Satan who will torment you until the day of redemption. Now, blasphemy against the Holy Ghost will never be forgiven. I am the Lord and will give you the Law of the Priesthood. Because Abraham did everything I told him to, he sits on a throne and is exalted. He can have children forever, and he will have too many children to number. Joseph, I am giving you the same blessing and promise. Go and do the things Abraham did, and ye will be saved. But if you don’t do as Abraham did, you won’t be saved.

God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave him Hagar as a female sex slave, which fulfilled the promises of having a large posterity. I didn’t condemn Abraham for doing this, and when I told him to kill his son, it was described as an act of righteousness. And Abraham had female sex slaves, and that was also described as an act of righteousness because he followed my law. And Isaac and Jacob did the same thing, that they are sitting on thrones and are gods, not angels.

David, Solomon, and Moses had many wives and female sex slaves, and they did not sin in doing this. David’s wives and female sex slaves were given to him by Nathan, the prophet, and he only sinned when he had Uriah killed, so he lost his exaltation, and his wives and female sex slaves were given to someone else. I am the Lord and I told you, Joseph, to restore all things. When you ask me, I will give to you according to my word.  Now, you have asked about adultery and I’m telling you that if you marry a wife in the new and eternal covenant and if she has sex with another man who I have not chosen, she has committed adultery and will be destroyed. And if her husband has sex with another woman, he has committed adultery and you, Joseph, can take his wife and give her to someone who hasn’t committed adultery, and that man shall be made a ruler over many for I have given you the power to restore all things.

46-56  And, I’m telling you, Joseph, that anything you bind on earth will be bound in heaven by my word forever. And, if you forgive someone’s sins, they will be canceled in heaven, and if you preserve someone’s sins, that will be preserved in heaven. And, I’m telling you, if you bless someone, I will bless them, and if you curse someone, I will curse them as well, for I am your God. I will be with you through all eternity. I bind up your exaltation and prepare a throne for you in the kingdom of my Father.

I have seen your sacrifices and will forgive all of your sins. I will even make a way for your escape. So, I give a commandment to Emma Smith, your wife, that she must have self-control and not marry other people as I have told you to do. I did it to test both of you as I tested Abraham. Emma should accept your new wives that are pure and virtuous, and those who aren’t pure but said they are pure will be destroyed because I said so.

Tell Emma to do what I tell her to do because you shall be made a ruler over many things. Tell her to have sex with you and with no one else, and if she doesn’t do that, I will destroy her. I will obliterate her if she doesn’t follow my marriage rules, but if she does, I will give you, Joseph, hundreds of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds. Emma must forgive you when you make mistakes, and then she’ll be given when she makes mistakes. Then, I will bless her and make her happy.

57-66 Joseph, don’t let your property out of your hands because Satan wants to destroy you, but I am with you just like I was with Abraham, your father, even to his exaltation and glory.

Now, regarding the priesthood, if a man is called of my Father who has priesthood keys, if he does anything in my name, according to my law and by my word, he will not commit sin and I will justify him. So no one should criticize you, for I will justify what you do, and you will do the sacrifice that I demand of you for your transgressions.

And again, regarding the law of the priesthood, if you marry a virgin and want to marry another virgin, the first one should give her consent and if the virgin is not promised to another man, he is justified. Because the women are given to him, he is justified and is not committing adultery because these women belong to him.

And if the man has ten virgins given to him by the law, he isn’t committing adultery for they belong to him and are given to him so he is justified, but if one of the ten virgins, after she marries, has sex with another man, she has committed adultery and will be destroyed because I have given these woman to the man so he can have lots of children and be exalted with my Father after he dies so that these women can have children forever so that the work of my Father continues and he may be glorified.

And, I tell you, if any man has a wife and teaches her about these things, then she must believe them and let him marry other women or she will be destroyed. I will destroy her myself. If his wife doesn’t accept this new law and doesn’t believe in it or give her husband according to my word, then she is a sinner and he is excused from the law of Sarah, who let Abraham have sex with Hagar, his sexual slave. And I will reveal more things but let this be enough for now. I am the Beginning and the End. Amen.

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613 Rules for Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

1. Pay a full tithing.
2. Fast once a month for a day.
3. Give the money you would have spent while fasting—and more—to the Church for the poor.
4. Go to Sacrament meeting and a second hour meeting every Sunday.
5. Take the Sacrament each week.
6. Repent of everything wrong that you have done before you take the Sacrament.
7. Do not smoke.
8. Do not drink alcoholic beverages.
9. Do not drink coffee.
10. Do not drink tea.
11. Do not chew tobacco.
12. Do not use drugs.
13. Keep the Word of Wisdom (health code).
14. Follow and sustain the prophet.
15. Believe that Jesus is the Christ.
16. Do not affiliate with any groups or people opposed to the Church.
17. Pay your child support payments.
18. Attend the temple regularly.
19. Wear temple garments day and night.
20. Accept all Church callings given to you by the bishop
21. Visit families if a man or sisters if a women monthly as a minister.
22. Refer to yourself as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, not a “Mormon”.
23. Speak at Church when assigned.
24. Bear your testimony occasionally at Fast Sunday, the first Sunday of the month.
25. Read your scriptures daily, especially the Book of Mormon.
26. Be a scriptorian.
27. Read your Sunday School lesson.
28. Read your Priesthood or Relief Society lesson.
29. Become well educated.
30. Do not swear.
31. Pray with family daily.
32. Pray morning and night.
33. Hold family scripture devotional daily.
34. Memorize scriptures.
35. Pray using only King James language, “thee,” “thou,” “thy”.
36. Sustain your local pastor or bishop.
37. Attend only your assigned Church congregation.
38. Teach your children gospel principles on Sunday.
39. Donate to Church charities.
40. Spend money wisely.
41. Youth should save their money to go on a mission—two years are required for men, 18 months for young women.
42. Missions are required for young men, optional for young women.
43. Missionaries may contact their families weekly.
44. Missionaries may not have visits with their family during their mission.
45. Missionaries are to only share positive experiences with family.
46. Missionaries work six days each week and then evening of their preparation day.
47. Missionaries are required to finance their own missions.
48. Retired couples should go on missions whenever possible.
49. Stand up when the prophet enters a room.
50. When the prophet speaks, the debate is over.
51. When you return home from mission, marry in the temple.
52. No premarital sex.
53. No premarital necking or petting.
54. Have as many children as possible.
55. Do not delay having children to finish education.
56. No tattoos.
57. No piercings, although women may have one piercing in each ear.
58. Men should wear hair short.
59. Beards and mustaches are discouraged and not allowed for Church leaders and bishops (pastors).
60. Men and young men should wear white shirts to Church.
61. Women should wear dressy dresses to Church.
62. Women should wear dressy shoes, not sandals.
63. Members should attend the temple regularly.
64. Members should research their genealogy.
65. Members should go to the temple and do temple work for their ancestors.
66. Youth should go to the temple and perform baptisms for the dead for their ancestors.
67. Members should have a supply of food storage for emergencies and disasters.
68. Members should also maintain a supply of emergency supplies.
69. Members should help others in case of a disaster.
70. Members should only speak positively about their Church leaders.
71. Female members should dress modestly.
72. Females must wear shirts with sleeves; dresses should reach the knees.
73. Members should be politically active.
74. Abortion–except to save the life of the mother and sometimes in the case of rape– is condemned.
75. LGBTQ sexual relationships or marriages are unacceptable and may result in excommunication.
76. Get baptized when you are eight years old or before you join the Church at eight years or older.
77. Maintain a clean appearance.
78. Keep your house clean and tidy.
79. Maintain your home well.
80. Keep your yard well maintained.
81. Read LDS magazines.
82. Keep a journal.
83. Grow a garden.
84. Be honest in all of your personal dealings.
85. Do not covet.
86. Do not commit adultery or fornication.
87. Do not read anti-Mormon material
88. Do not lust.
89. Do not watch R-rated movies.
90. No not view pornography.
91. No not view or read suggestive or inappropriate material.
92. Do not masturbate.
93. Listen only to uplifting music
94. Try to convert your friends, neighbors and co-workers.
95. Every member a missionary.
96. Avoid unrighteous people and places.
97. Do not visit bars.
98. Exercise faith in God.
99. Do not doubt Church teachings or practices.
100. After marriage, do not spend time alone with a member of the opposite sex.
101. Feed the missionaries
102. Give service to your neighbors.
103. Help neighbors move in or move out.
104. Take meals to sick neighbors.
105. Visit the housebound.
106. Raise children who are active in the Church.
107.Magnify your talents.
108.Share your talents with others.
109.Study the history of the Church from Church approved sources only.
110. Read books that Church leaders have written.
111.Honor your parents.
112. Love your family.
113. Love others.
114. Forgive others.
115. Love your enemies.
116. No idols or other gods.
117.No witchcraft.
118. Do not work on Sunday
119. Only do wholesome activities on Sunday.
120. Do not go to the grocery store on Sunday.
121. Do not shop on Sunday.
122. Do not attend sporting events on Sunday.
123. Do not participate in recreational activities on Sunday.
124. Ideally, wear your Sunday clothes all day on Sunday.
125. Be humble.
126. Be patient and kind.
127. Be obedient to everything Church leaders ask of you.
128. Do not talk about temple ceremonies with others outside of temple.
129. When young man is twelve, he receives priesthood and pass the Sacrament.
130.When a young man is fourteen, he ministers alone with an older same-sex adult.
131. When a young man is sixteen, if worthy,he can bless the Sacrament.
132. Youth should attend worthiness interviews with bishop regularly; these meetings are held alone unless the youth requests that another adult attends with them.
133. When a female member is twelve, she begins her participation in the youth organization called Young Women.
134. Do not gossip.
135. Attend church socials and bring food whenever assigned.
136. Clean the meeting house when assigned.
137. Substitute for Church teachers when needed.
138. Serve in the cannery or orchard when asked.
139. Work hard.
140. Use your time wisely.
141. Do not have gender reassignment surgery or you may be excommunicated.
142. Do not cross dress.
143. Obey the laws of your land.
144. Never gamble.
145. Do not use face cards.
146. Keep your thoughts clean.
147. Seek after things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy.
148. Women should obey their husbands.
149. Married women should stay home and raise their children.
150. Youth should attend extra weekly meetings.
151. Youth should not date until sixteen.
152. Youth should group date until eighteen.
153. Youth should only date people who are members of the Church and worthy to enter the temple.
154. Twice each year members should watch 8-10 hours of General Conference.
155. Members should obey anything Church leaders say at General Conference.
156. Teachings at General Conference supersede passed leaders’ teachings.
157. Talks at General Conference are used as lessons for Relief Society (women) and Priesthood meeting (men).
158. Pay your tithing before paying rent or house payment or buying food.
159. Missionaries should obey anything their mission president tells them to do.
160. Be a good example to others.
161. Be positive and happy.
162. After baptism, be confirmed and receive gift of the Holy Ghost.
163. Always be worthy so the Holy Ghost will guide them.
164 Always follow the Spirit.
165. A baby should be blessed by a worthy father in Sacrament Meeting.
166. Do not ask General Authorities questions.
167. Have Family Home Evening each week.
168. Youth should attend seminary, which is often held before school.
169. College students should attend Institute classes.
170.Young adults should date, not just hang out with one another.
171. Doubt your doubts.
172. If you discover troubling information about Church history ignore it.
173. Obedience is the first law in heaven.
174. No loud laughter.
175.No evil speaking of Church presidents and apostles.
176. Covenant to give everything to the Church.
177. Never leave your garments on the floor.
178. Your body is a temple.
179. Have a current temple recommend.
180. To obtain a temple recommend, interview with the bishop and stake president.
181. Get your patriarchal blessing when a teen or after baptized.
182. If you commit adultery, fornication, or a serious crime, you must report the sin to the bishop.
183. Bishops or higher authorities must hold a church court to determine the punishment for those who commit serious sins.
184. Those who speak negatively about the Church in open forums, even if their criticisms are true, may be excommunicated for apostasy.
185.Bishops may disfellowship sinful members, which requires the members to turn in their temple recommend, not take the Sacrament, and not speak or pray in Church.
186. Bishops who learn that members are abusive must call the Church legal office to determine if the abuse should be reported to police.
187. Victims of ecclesiastical abuse have no recourse within the Church unless the perpetrator is convicted of a crime.
188. Victims of ecclesiastical abuse may be punished for reporting the abuse to Church authorities.
189. In the temple, a widowed or divorced man may be sealed to another woman, making him a polygamist in heaven.
190. Church scriptures teach that polygamy will be practiced in heaven.
191. Don’t steal.
192. Don’t murder.
193. Prepare for the Second Coming by keeping all of the commandments.
194. Keep all of the commandments so that you can receive God’s grace.
195. Youth and adults should keep a current temple recommend.
196. Children should memorize the 13 Articles of Faith.
197. Have faith that Heavenly Father has a body of flesh and bones.
198. Have faith that Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God.
199. Have faith that the Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhood and that He is a Spirit.
200. Have faith that you lived with Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother before you were born.
201. Have faith that Satan was a child of Heavenly Father in the preexistence who was cast out for rebellion.
202. Seek to become like God.
203. Know that those who keep the commandments will become Gods after they die.
204. Follow Jesus in everything that you say and do.
205. Have faith that the Book of Mormon is inspired scripture translated from golden plates by Joseph Smith.
206. Have faith that the Book of Mormon is the most correct book of scripture.
207. Have faith that the LDS prophet speaks for God.
208. Be a good friend to converts.
209. Invite others to Church.
210. Be honest in your business dealings.
211. Attend ward and auxiliary socials.
212. Do not take revenge.
213. Do not go to war unless you have been attacked two times.
214. Do not bear a grudge.
215. Do not blaspheme.
216. Do not listen to false prophets.
217. Teach your children to follow the prophet.
218. Do not imitate the customs of the world.
219. Be a peculiar people; do not be worldly.
220. Celebrate the arrival and departure of missionaries in your ward.
221. Pray continually.
222. Have faith that Jesus died and was resurrected.
223. Have faith that Jesus’ greatest suffering was in the garden of Gethsemane, not Calvary.
224. Only men have the priesthood, which gives them the authority to oversee all that happens in their congregations and in the Church.
225. Women are more special than men because they can have children.
226. Members who are married in the temple and who have children are ideal.
227. Bishops should focus on retaining their youth so that they remain active in the Church.
228. Bishops should be married in the temple and ideally should not have been divorced.
229. Funerals should last one hour or less.
230. At funerals, speak about Church topics and not about the decreased.
231. Ideally, members should be buried and not cremated.
232. Members should be buried in their temple clothing.
233. LDS hymns should be sung at funerals.
234. Priesthood leaders should dedicate the grave of the deceased.
235. A family member should offer a prayer beside the casket before the funeral begins.
236. Ward members should provide a dinner for the family after the burial.
237. The bishop should oversee the planning of the funeral.
238. Funerals should be viewed as missionary opportunities.
239. Wear Sunday clothes to Church funerals.
240. Church funeral rules supersede cultural traditions.
241. Parents who do not have a temple recommend may not attend their child’s temple marriage.
242. Special temple clothing must be purchased or rented and worn for temple worship.
243. Wear your best Sunday attire when you attend the temple.
244. Adult priesthood holders should keep consecrated oil in their homes so that they can bless the sick.
245. Return what you borrow.
246. Be generous to the poor.
247. Twice a year, attend a two-hour Stake Conference meeting.
248. Clean the temple when assigned.
249. Go to bed early and rise early.
250. Repent every day.
251. Bless your food before eating.
252. Kneel when praying whenever possible.
253. Keep every covenant in temple so you can go to the highest heaven where married couples can have multiple wives who have spirit children.
254. Only take the Sacrament with your right hand.
255. Do not eat anything with coffee as an ingredient.
256. Women should not wear pants to Church.
257. Women may not participate in the blessing of their babies, including holding their babies.
258. Adult priesthood holders should be worthy to bless the sick when asked.
259. Women should not wear sleeveless blouses to Church.
260. Women should be submissive to their husbands who preside in the home.
261. Members should trust that all leaders are called of God.
262. Do not use special occasions to be immodest.
263. Do not wear tight or revealing clothing.
264. Continue to learn throughout your lie.
265. Use social media wisely.
266. Walk out of an inappropriate movies.
267. Do not participate in anything that makes violence acceptable.
268. If you are involved in pornography, seek help.
269. Do not share copyrighted movies or music.
270. Share your testimony with your family.
271. Do not compromise your standards with your friends.
272. Express your gratitude to others.
273. Do not cheat on school tests.
274. Do not bear false witness.
275. Do not listen to music that encourages immorality or violence.
276. When dancing, avoid full body contact.
277. Avoid dangerous activities that put your body at risk of injury.
278. Confess the sin of pornography to your bishop.
279. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing.
280. Each year visit with your bishop about your payment of tithes to determine if you have paid a full tithe.
281. Develop self-discipline and be dependable.
282. Do not spend excessive amounts of time on the Internet or playing video games.
283. Apply what you learn from reading the scriptures to your life.
284. Be financially self-reliant.
285. Follow the rules first.
286. Become well-informed about political issues.
287. Vote for people with integrity and sound judgment.
288. If you live righteously, your family relationships will be eternal.
289. Don’t record the words of the prophet or twelve apostles if they speak at a Stake Conference.
290. Oppose same sex marriage.
291. Believe that God’s love is conditional.
292. If a woman does not get married in this life, she can become a polygamous wife of a worthy husband after she dies.
293. Eat a grain-based diet.
294. If you do not get into the highest heaven, or celestial kingdom, by keeping all of the commandments, you may not associate with your family again.
295. If your child marries in the temple and you do not have a temple recommend, you cannot attend the wedding.
296. You child may have a ring ceremony after a temple wedding.
297. Whenever possible, keep a 3-month supply of water.
298. When teaching a lesson in Church, use only Church-approved materials.
299. Missionaries may not swim in a body of water.
300. Male missionaries must wear a white shirt and tie all day except preparation day.
301. Missionaries must arise every day at 6:30 am and retire to bed at 10:30 pm.
302. Before 10 am, missionaries must study the scriptures individually and with their companion.
303. Missionaries must study a foreign language from 30 to 60 minutes each morning if they are learning a new language.
304. If a missionary goes to a doctor, the visit must be authorized by the mission president.
305. Missionaries may only listen to church-approved music.
306. Missionaries must always be with their companions throughout each day and night.
307. Husbands should preside in their homes with love.
308. Husbands should provide for their families.
309. Mothers are responsible to nurture their children.
310. Extended family should help when needed.
311. Parents should teach their children to love and serve each other.
312. Parents should teach their children to keep the commandments.
313. Parents should teach their children to be law-abiding citizens.
314. Marriage should only be between a man and a woman.
315. Eat meat sparingly.
316. Avoid the appearance of evil.
317. Do not be idle.
318. Be reverent when you attend Sacrament meeting and Primary.
319. The Church recommends that you marry someone of your same racial and socioeconomic background.
320. Firearms are prohibited at Church.
321. Sustain the First President and twelve apostles of the Church as prophets, seers, and revelators.
322. Pray that the missionaries will find and baptize new converts.
323. Pray daily that you can find people who will join the Church.
324. Pray daily to find people you can serve.
325. Pray daily for God’s forgiveness.
326. Ask for forgiveness from those who have offended.
327. Do not envy others.
328. Avoid contention.
329. Make your home a sacred space.
330. Seek learning by study and faith.
331. Have faith that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.
332. Have faith that Joseph Smith restored the true Church to the earth.
333. Do not worry.
334. Be punctual, especially for Sacrament Meeting.
335. Study the words of modern prophets and apostles.
336. Be faithful in fulfilling all Church assignments.
337. Avoid immoral social media content.
338. Become an expert in the Family Search app.
339. Study scriptures stories of great prophets and emulate their qualities.
340. Rescue and love those who stray from the Church.
341. Look to Christ in every thought.
342. Fear not.
343. Keep the covenants you make at the temple.
344. Be obedient to everything the prophet asks you to do.
345. Be willing to give everything that you have to the Church.
346. Promise to consecrate all of your time and talents to the Church.
347. Pray for your Church leaders regularly by name.
348. If you have a choice between two goods, choose the better good.
349. Be willing to sell everything you have to go to the temple.
350. Put the needs of others ahead of your own.
351. Speak about the temple with reverence.
352. Youth should prepare to marry in the temple.
353. Have integrity in all that you do.
354. Only a family with a male husband and a female wife is ordained of God.
355. Only those who are sealed in the temple to their spouse and keep all of the commandments can go to the highest heaven (celestial kingdom.)
356. All members, married or unmarried, should strive for the ideal of living eternally as a family.
357. All Aaronic Priesthood holders should participate in the Duty to God program.
358. All young women should participate in the Personal Progress program.
359. Children should obey their parents.
360. Profess that the Church is the only true Church.
361. Believe that the Church is the restored Church that Jesus Christ created.
362. No other baptism is accepted in the LDS Church.
363. Acknowledge that truth can be found in other religions but that the LDS Church has the fullness of truth.
364. Believe that a testimony includes faith in Jesus Christ and in Joseph Smith as a prophet who restored the truth Church and translated the Book of Mormon, which is the most correct book of Scripture.
365. Admit that Joseph Smith taught that all other creeds or religions (except the LDS Church) are an abomination in God’s sight.
366. Accept that there are three degrees of glory, the celestial, the terrestrial, and the telestial.
367. Consult with your bishop before having a tubal ligation or vasectomy.
368. Childbearing should not be delayed for convenience.
369. Have as many children as you are physically and emotionally able to raise.
370. If you join another Church, you are in apostasy and can be excommunicated.
371. The Church does not approve of artificial insemination of single women and disapproves of artificial insemination of semen of anyone but the husband of a married woman.
372. Astrology should be avoided.
373. Burial is preferable to cremation.
374. Deceased persons who are temple-worthy should be buried in their temple clothes.
375. Members are discouraged from wearing crosses.
376. Cross should not be placed in chapels of LDS places of worship.
377. Only a member of the First Presidency can cancel a temple sealing which allows the person to be sealed to another person in the temple.
378. After you move into a home, a priesthood holder should dedicate it to the Lord.
379. When a member is buried, a priesthood holder should dedicate the grave.
380. When you receive a church calling, you should receive a blessing from a member of the bishopric.
381. When a priesthood holder blesses a sick person, he should anoint the person’s head with consecrated olive oil.
382. Only priesthood holders can consecrate or bless olive oil for healing blessings.
383. Easter is celebrated but Lent, Ash Wednesday, and Holy Week is not.
384. Home gardens, canning, and sewing are encouraged for LDS women.
385. Members should obtain medical, life, and health insurance when it is available.
386. Euthanasia is forbidden.
387. Excommunicated members who are deceased may not have their temple work completed without the approval of a member of the First Presidency.
388. Worthy Melchizedek priesthood holders should give their wives and children blessings when appropriate.
389. The LDS Church opposes feminism when it emphasizes female sufficiency apart from men.
390. Members of the LDS Church can now be Masons.
391. Do not participate in government-run lotteries.
392. Support constitutional government.
393. Avoid debt.
394. Do not pray to Heavenly Mother.
395. Your closest relationship should be with Heavenly Father, not Jesus Christ.
396. Church members who abuse others should counsel with their bishop.
397. Little children should not be baptized.
398. Parents should encourage their children to keep journals.
399. Avoid litigation.
400. Avoid sorcery.
401. Avoid the occult.
402. Sacrament Meeting musical instruments are limited to piano, organ, harp, some string instruments and the flute.
403. Brass and percussion instruments are not acceptable for Sacrament Meetings.
404. A wedding march is unacceptable in a wedding ceremony performed in an LDS church.
405. Only sacred music, not secular music, is appropriate in a Sacrament Meeting.
406. Religious music presented in a popular style is not acceptable in Sacrament Meeting.
407. Civil wedding ceremonies should be simple and conservative.
408. If a pianist or organist is unavailable for Sacrament Meeting, an electronic recording may be used for the hymns.
409. Choristers should not routinely shorten hymns in Sacrament Meeting.
410. Sacramental hymns must be doctrinally correct.
411. Some appropriate classical music may be included in prelude and postlude music.
412. Music not included in LDS-authorized books should be approved by the bishop before it is performed in Sacrament Meeting.
413. Heavenly Father has a body of flesh and bones and is not omnipresent.
414. The decision to receive a transplanted organ should be made through prayer.
415. Voluntary organ donation is allowed.
416. Church finances are confidential and unless required by national law, not open for review by members.
417. Those whose conduct brings disrepute on the Church may be dealt with his a disciplinary court.
418. Those who break their covenants may be dealt with his a disciplinary court.
419. Those who practice polygamy will be excommunicated.
420. Record your personal history and those of your ancestors.
421. Become a profound theologian.
422. The body of an endowed suicide victim may be buried in temple clothing.
423. Stillborn children will not be resurrected.
424. There is no repentance from blasphemy against the Holy Ghost and those who do are those who will be consigned to outer darkness or hell.
425. Ward activities should be gospel centered.
426. The family is the basic organization of the church.
427. Practice good sanitation and hygiene.
428. Control your weight.
429. Exercise regularly.
430. Obtain adequate dental care.
431. Read good books.
432. Save a portion of your income.
433. Use a budget.
434. Be a good neighbor.
435. No Church activities on Monday, which is reserved for Family Home Evening.
436. All activities should be opened and closed with prayer.
437. Sing hymns in the home.
438. God was once a man.
439. Lay leaders at the local level are not paid.
440. The LDS Church has a committee that monitors its members’ critical statements about the Church or about its policies or procedures.
441. Adam lived in Missouri, where the Garden of Eden was located.
442. Adam will return to Missouri to turn over priesthood keys before the Second Coming.
443. The wicked will be removed from the earth when Christ returns.
444. The righteous of all religions will remain on the earth when Christ returns.
445. A final great war in the valley of Meggido will occur before Christ returns.
446. Two special witnesses will preach in Jerusalem and be killed before Christ returns.
447. Listen to the prophets to prepare for the Second Coming.
448. No one knows exactly when the Second Coming will happen.
449. After Jesus died, there was a total apostasy of the Church.
450. Your responses to questions asked in Church should be respectful and correlated.
451. The oldest member of the twelve apostles becomes prophet after the prophet dies.
452. Most Church pageants are now ended.
453. Members should flood the earth on social media with their testimonies of the restored gospel.
454. Members may not use or imitate Church logos.
455. Adoption should be processed through licensed authorities.
456. Audiovisual materials may not be used in Sacrament Meeting.
457. Do not seek autographs of Church general authorities.
458. The King James edition of the Bible is the only acceptable version.
459. Do not rewrite the Book of Mormon into modern language.
460. Church members should have Church magazines in their homes.
461. Do not violate Church copyright laws.
462. Generally members are encouraged to remain in their native lands.
463. Do not distribute directories for commercial or political purposes.
464. Missionaries should not ask their families or friends to sponsor a member who wants to emigrate to another country.
465. For Church meetings, speakers should reside in the local
ward.
466. Members should not write or call General Authorities about doctrinal or personal matters.
467. Consider running for political office.
468. Do not attend symposia that detract from the Church’s mission.
469. Do not alter the temple garments.
470. Dispose of temple garments by cutting them up appropriately.
471. Church facilities may not be rented or leased for commercial purposes.
472. The serving area in the Church is not intended for food preparation.
473. Do not participate in hypnosis for entertainment.
474. Do not participate in self-awareness groups.
475. Single expectant parents should go to the bishop to start the repentance process.
476. Sperm donation is discouraged.
476. Surrogate motherhood is discouraged.
477. Obey the laws of the land where they travel.
478. Post only civil, praiseworthy messages on social media.
479. Seek answers to problems through prayer and scripture study.
480. Seek employment that is consistent with gospel principles.
481. Before baptism, the person must be interviewed by the bishop or full-time missionary.
482. General authorities should not apologize about past Church practices.
483. No lethal weapons can be brought onto Church property.
484. Flags may be flown on Church meetinghouse property.
485. Missionaries are called elder or sister.
486. Missionaries should not use slang.
487. Do not vape.
488. Do not submit names of famous people or Jewish holocaust survivors for temple work.
489. No pictures of Christ may be places in chapel.
490. No oral sex.
491. No sex with animals.
492. Love and serve your fellow ward members.
493. Take meals to the sick.
494. Love God with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.
495. Love your neighbor as yourself.
496. Spend Sundays at Church and with family.
497. Do not embarrass others.
498. Do not slander another.
499. Mourn with those that mourn.
500. Comfort those that stand in need of comfort.
501. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
502. Be witnesses of God in all times and places.
503. Become as a little child.
504. Believe in the goodness of God.
505. Believe that God created all things in heaven and earth.
506. Forsake your sins.
507. Do not injure others.
508. Live peaceably with all mankind.
509. Help the needy.
510. Covenant with God to do His will.
511. Perform good works.
512. Do not associate with apostates.
513. Gender is an eternal condtion.
514. All humans, male and female, are created in God’s image.
515. Do not kidnap a person.
516. Do not use the Church or your position in the Church to sell an item or product.
517. Be pure in heart.
518. Be merciful.
519. Be a peacemaker.
520. Hunger and thirst after righteousness.
521. Be courageous.
522. Suffer affliction with faith.
523. Let your light shine.
524. Have a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
525. Do not be angry with another person.
526. Do not lust.
527. Take up your cross daily and follow God.
528. Keep your promises.
529. Give to those that ask of you.
530. Bless those who curse you.
531. Turn the other cheek.
532. Do good to those who despitefully use you.
533. Do your alms in secret.
534. Do not lay up for yourself treasures on earth.
535. Seek first the kingdom of God.
536. Do not be a hypocrite.
537. Do not abuse children.
538. Do not partake of the sacrament unworthily.
539. Fellowship new converts.
540. Do not be lascivious.
541. Do not wear costly apparel.
542. Do not be rebellious.
543. Do not murmur or complain.
544. Respect your leaders.
545. Trust that faith precedes a miracle.
546. Remember the teachings of Christ.
547. Listen to your leaders.
548. Be filled with the pure love of God.
549. Deny yourself of all ungodliness.
550. Ask and you will receive.
551. Be exceedingly glad.
552. Be wise as serpents.
553. Be harmless as doves.
554. Be thankful.
555. Be content with your wages.
556. Be faithful servants.
557. Be temperate.
558. Avoid troublemakers.
559. Be of good cheer.
560. Be fully converted.
561. Have a mighty change of heart.
562. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
563. Be given to hospitality.
564. Be strong in the Lord.
565. Be anxious for nothing.
567. Be a partaker in Christ’s suffering.
568. Be holy in conversation.
569. Be sober and vigilant.
570. Be not weary in well doing.
571. Do not be lazy.
572. Care for the widows and fatherless.
573. Do violence to no one.
574. Give thanks to God.
575. Give cheerfully.
576. Have no respect of persons.
577. Go the second mile.
578. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
579. Have a good conscience.
580. Let you conversation be yea, yea, and nay, nay; make no oaths.
581. Let your enemies have your cloak.
582. Let peace rule your heart.
583. Develop and share your spiritual gifts.
584. Be swift to hear and slow to speak.
585. Let nothing be done in strife.
586. Shun evil.
587. Seek peace and pursue it.
588. Do not let sin reign in your body.
589. Rejoice in hope.
590. Put on the helmet of salvation.
591. Take on the sword of the Spirit.
592. Take heed not to backslide.
593. Abhor what is evil.
594. Confess your faults to one another.
595. Harden not your hearts.
596. Overcome evil with good.
597. Endure persecution well.
598. Render no evil for evil.
599. Strengthen your feeble knees.
600. Lay up treasures in heaven.
601. Judge not, that you are not judged.
602. Beware of false prophets.
603. Do not pray to impress others.
604. End disputes quickly.
605. When you fast, do it secretly.
607. Do not give holy things to those who will not appreciate them.
608. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked.
609. Follow the narrow path.
610. Do not take the name of God in vain.
611. Do not hate anyone.
612. Do not let anyone lead you astray.
613. Endure to the end.

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Shame-based Religions

In the culture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shame is a reoccurring threat. In this high-demand works-based religion, children and teens have to prove their value in worthiness interviews. Adults must pass a series of specific questions in order to attend the temple and inherit the highest degree of glory. These questions include being honest, chaste, paying a full tithe, obeying the Word of Wisdom, and upholding the truth claims of the Church. Church meetings often focus on the specific behaviors that the Church expects of its members, who feel that they are working their way into heaven. We are taught that we are children of God, but are also reminded that faith without works is dead.

Shame-based religions teach that we aren’t good enough and that we have to work our way into heaven. This can create a toxic mix of perfectionism, rigidity, and self-loathing.

In grace-based religions, God’s mercy is the foundational principle of the gospel. Members are taught that God loved them unconditionally and endlessly. His love motivates and empowers them to do good works. People are encouraged to develop a loving relationship with God, who is seen a beneficent, kind, and merciful. Hence, Christians believe are good because God is good. They are taught that “ [God] hath made [Christ] to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.” [1]

We claim to be a Christ-centered religion, but he is seldom mentioned in Church talks and lessons. Most lessons center around rules we should obey: tithing, keeping the Sabbath day holy, ministering to others, being morally clean, preparing for missions, attending the temple, family history work, holding church callings, to name a few.
A speaker at Sacrament Meeting is no longer permitted to ask the congregation to open their scriptures as the speaker shares scriptural verses. Many talks and lessons now refer to Church leaders’ quotes and fewer refer to their Savior’s teachings.

The unintended consequence from a works-based Church culture is that members do not feel they are enough. Instead, they feel they are less than whole, broken, unworthy. Yet, they are put on a façade of sainthood, righteousness, and wholeness to be accepted by their leaders and peers. That creates a shame-based society.

I’ve listened to hundreds of members over the years say that they feel unworthy and worthless. They believe they are not doing enough to deserve God’s love. Utah, To move from a shame-based culture to a Christ-based culture, the Church needs to:

1. Emphasize the love of Christ and God in talks, lessons, and doctrine. Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has spoken about this extensively in his talks but was unfortunately removed from the First Presidency, so his voice has been diminished.

He said, “Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you…Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. ” [2]

2. Regularly teach that we love God because He first loved us. Remind members that God’s love gives us the strength and motivation to become more like Him.

3. Teach that God quickly forgives. When Church leaders require prolonged, shame-ridden repentance processes, exhaustive worthiness interviews, and works-based temple recommend interviews, some members either burn out or give up. If the Lord asks us to forgive others seventy times seven, surely He does the same for his penitent children.

4. Eliminate the endless list of to-do’s and instead focus on love. Leader interviewers could ask, “Do you seek to love God, yourself and others?” That should be the basis of any Church discussion and visit. Other questions unrelated to fostering God’s love need to be removed from Church interrogations.

5. Stop the harmful and destructive practice of worthiness interviews with youth. The very idea that youth must prove their worthiness implies that some are unworthy of God’s love. That is wrong.

6. Eliminate the shaming of any group, including women, LGBTQ+, minorities, non-LDS, and those who have faith doubts. Implying that God does not love all of His children creates a fear-based culture that is toxic to members’ mental health.

7. Create a space where members can be vulnerable in Church classes and meetings. Allow people to speak their truth without judgment or recrimination. Set an example of truthfulness by apologizing for mistakes and misinformation, honoring honesty, and promoting love and authenticity.

8. Encourage members to set personal values based on Christ’s example. Motivate members to follow God because they love Him, not because they fear Him. Teach members that turning away from bad behavior is a healthy process, not a shameful one.

9. Stop excommunicating members who speak the truth about the Church. The silencing of good members who seek to protect children or shine a light on false truth claims of the Church creates a culture of fear.

The Church does much good in the world. Its fast-offering program feeds millions of hungry individuals and its model of service and ministry is admirable. It can focus more on Christ and less on condemnation. We urge the Church to be a place of healing and not harassment. Our worthiness is inherent in our very souls and need not be proven in interviews.

[1] 2 Cor. 5:21

[2] See “The Love of God,” Pres. Dieter Uchtdorf, October 2009 General Conference accessed here https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

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The Strengths of a Christ-centered Church over a Family-centered Church

In our past General Conference, the First Presidency stated that our Church is family-centered. In our family-centric Church, members are encouraged to marry only in the temple, ideally when young, and to have larger families. Those belonging to active families with parents who married in the temple are idealized. Children of LGBT members cannot be blessed or baptized. God’s love is seen as conditional, depending on one’s adherence to the dictates of the prophets and apostles.
In our family-centered Church

• families with parents married in the temple who have children are the ideal. [1]

• singles or childless couples are sometimes marginalized. [2]

• heavy demands are placed on mothers, who are defined as the nurturers—and now the teachers of gospel principles—of their children. [3]

• married heterosexual couples are idealized at the exclusion of LGBT couples and members. [4]

• divine love is taught as being conditional and is based on a person’s obedience to commandments. [5]

In a Christ-centered Church, because leaders emphasize God’s unconditional, infinite love for all of His children, they value and love each member equally. Every member and person is recognized as a beloved child of God: LGBTQ, single, married, childless, divorced, widowed, never-married, active, less-active, non-members. People of all races, social classes, religions, genders, ethnic backgrounds, and sexual preferences feel welcome to attend.

• Members do not “discount, disregard, or discriminate against anyone. [6]

• No one is considered unworthy or unredeemable, including social pariahs, adulterers, sinners, mentally ill, those with doubts about their place in God’s kingdom, or those who are less active. [7]

• Speakers in Sacrament Meeting focus on the Savior and on His Atonement. [8]

• All children can be blessed,including those whose parents are LGBTQ. [9]

• Divine love is taught as being unconditional and eternal. [10]

Only when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints becomes a Christ-centered church will all members and visitors feel welcome and valued. Classism, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, and inequity will end, and all will feel enfolded in the arms of God. All children will be equally valued and loved. Every child will have the opportunity to receive a blessing and to be baptized, including children of murderers, adulterers, and rapists. Children of LGBTQ families will not be excluded from being blessed or baptized. We will not teach or imply that one person is more esteemed than another, including single and married members. Members’ love for God will motivate them to want to do better and be better. Members will love others more fully and will want to follow God and to obey Him not out of fear or duty but because of their love for them.

[1] Pres. Russell Nelson said, “While salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter. Only those who are married in the temple and whose marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise will continue as spouses after death and receive the highest degree of celestial glory, or exaltation. A temple marriage is also called a celestial marriage. Within the celestial glory are three levels. To obtain the highest, a husband and wife must be sealed for time and all eternity and keep their covenants made in a holy temple.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/celestial-marriage?lang=eng

[2]Pres. Dallin Oaks said, “We live in a time when many women wish to have no part in the bearing and nurturing of children. Many young adults delay marriage until temporal needs are satisfied. The average age of our Church members’ marriages has increased by more than two years, and the number of births to Church members is falling. The United States and some other nations face a future of too few children maturing into adults to support the number of retiring adults. Over 40 percent of births in the United States are to unwed mothers. Those children are vulnerable. Each of these trends works against our Father’s divine plan of salvation.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/parents-and-children?lang=eng

[3] President Eyring said, “You might ask, ‘How does that make faithful sisters a primary force to help the Lord pour out knowledge on His Saints?’ The Lord gives the answer in ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the World.’ You remember the words, but you may see new meaning and recognize that the Lord foresaw these exciting changes, which are now occurring. In the proclamation, He gave sisters charge to be the principal gospel educators in the family in these words: ‘Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.’ This includes the nurture of gospel truth and knowledge.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/women-and-gospel-learning-in-the-home?lang=eng

[4] President Dallin Oaks said, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is properly known as a family-centered Church. But what is not well understood is that our family-centeredness is focused on more than mortal relationships. Eternal relationships are also fundamental to our theology. “The family is ordained of God.” Under the great plan of our loving Creator, the mission of His restored Church is to help the children of God achieve the supernal blessing of exaltation in the celestial kingdom, which can be attained only through an eternal marriage between a man and a woman (see Doctrine and Covenants 131:1–3). We affirm the Lord’s teachings that “gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” and that “marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/truth-and-the-

[5] In a talk entitled “Divine Love, President Nelson states: “The Conditional Nature of Divine Love: With scriptural patterns of conditional statements in mind, we note many verses that declare the conditional nature of divine love for us. Examples include:
‘ If ye keep my commandments, [then] ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.’” https://www.lds.org/ensign/2003/02/divine-love?lang=eng

President Nelson cites examples when we may not experience God’s love and suggests that, therefore, divine love is conditional.

[6] Elder Uchtdorf said, “The love God speaks of is the kind that enters our hearts when we awake in the morning, stays with us throughout the day, and swells in our hearts as we give voice to our prayers of gratitude at evening’s end.
This is the inexpressible love Heavenly Father has for us.
It is this endless compassion that allows us to more clearly see others for who they are. Through the lens of pure love, we see immortal beings of infinite potential and worth and beloved sons and daughters of Almighty God.”
Once we see through that lens, we cannot discount, disregard, or discriminate against anyone. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/believe-love-do?lang=eng

[7] Elder Gay said, “Can any one of you imagine our Savior letting you and your burdens go unnoticed by Him? The Savior looked upon the Samaritan, the adulterer, the tax collector, the leper, the mentally ill, and the sinner with the same eyes. All were children of His Father. All were redeemable….Can you imagine Him turning away from someone with doubts about their place in God’s kingdom or from anyone afflicted in any manner? I cannot. In the eyes of Christ, each soul is of infinite worth. No one is preordained to fail. Eternal life is possible for all.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/taking-upon-ourselves-the-name-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng

[8] Elder Cook said, “The Sunday Church meetings will consist of a 60-minute sacrament meeting each Sunday, focused on the Savior, the ordinance of the sacrament, and spiritual messages.”
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/deep-and-lasting-conversion-to-heavenly-father-and-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng

[9] “Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence.” Matthew 19:14-15

“But little children are alive in Christ, even from the foundation of the world; if not so, God is a partial God, and also a changeable God, and a respecter to persons; for how many little children have died without baptism!” Moroni 8:12

“For none of these iniquities come of the Lord; for he doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.” 2 Ne. 26: 33

“And for your salvation I give unto you a commandment, for I have heard your prayers, and the poor have complained before me, and the rich have I made, and all flesh is mine, and I am no respecter of persons.” D&C 38:16
See also Deut. 1:17; Isa. 56:7 (3–8); Acts 10:34; Eph. 6:9; Col. 3:25; Alma 1:30; Moro. 8:12.

[10] When he was a member of the First Presidency, Pres. Uchtdorf taught, “God does not look on the outward appearance.8 I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compassion, God’s love encompasses us completely.
“He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/the-love-of-god?lang=eng

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Becoming a More Christ-Centered Church

In my teens, in Sunday School we studied “Christ’s Ideals for Living” by O.C. Tanner. We brought our scriptures to Church each Sunday and learned about Christ’s attributes and how to become more like him. In meetings, we quoted passages of Scripture in our talks while others followed along in their Standard Works. The sound of rustling pages was delightful.

Today we sometimes quote as much from the Brethren in our lessons and talks as we do from the Scriptures. Some ignore Jesus’ teachings about blessing little children and speak about excluding some of them from receiving blessings. Some ignore Jesus’ teaching about casting stones at an adulterous woman and cast stones instead at those who are already marginalized. Some become more focused on ways to exclude others than to include them.

I would not return to a time when my black brothers and sisters were denied priesthood blessings. I would not return to a time when women could not pray in Church or speak in General Conference or when brutal punishments were enacted in temple ceremonies. But, I would return to a time when we focused on Jesus and his attributes: mercy, compassionate, honesty, kindness, and love.

Perhaps by becoming a more Christ-centered Church, leaders would enact policies and procedures that better ensure that are alike unto God. We will decide to safeguard children and women instead of protecting perpetrators. We will bless all of our children. We will find a way to love a little more.

I do not suggest we become Pharisaic followers of the law, but do suggest that perhaps as we focus on the Word, we can become more Christ-like as a Church and as members.

I attend many Sacrament Meetings where Christ is seldom mentioned except for the sacramental prayers. I hear many talks that extol the virtues of Church leaders rather than of Jesus. I participate in too many lessons where General Authorities’ edicts trump Christ’s teachings about mercy and justice and charity.

As a Church, we can do better.

We must do better.

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How LDS Policies Protect Sex Abuse Perpetrators

To better understand the systemic problem of sex abuse in the LDS Church, listen to the interview with Dr. Gina Convin and “Tim Kosnoff, a US attorney who has spent the last two decades representing victims of sexual abuse.   His introduction to the  LDS Church and their lawyers was when he represented Jeremiah Scott who was sexually abused by a serial paedophile Frank Curtis.  His work, in this case, appears in Lisa Davis’ legal thriller,  The Sins of Brother Curtis. 

“This case has lead to a practice in which he has come to represent over 150 Mormon sexual abuse victims bringing him face to face with the Mormon law machine time and time again.”

To summarize some of his concerns:

The LDS Church refuses to adopt policies that protect women and children from ecclesiastical sexual abuse. It also encourages the adoption of laws that protect Church leaders from testifying against perpetrators, using the pretense of privileged communication for everything bishops hear.

The LDS Church attorneys spend millions of dollars to silence victims and to protect perpetrators. Most law firms lack the money and time to take on a client who seek legal help after being sexually abused by a LDS ecclesiastical or member perpetrator.

The Utah legal system which is predominantly LDS tends to rule in behalf of the Church. Judges who rule in favor of plaintiffs are in danger of losing their jobs, so even non-LDS judges are afraid to rule in favor of victims and often send the cases to the Utah Supreme Court, which often rules in favor of the LDS Church.

LDS juries also tend to rule against victims because they cannot believe that their Church could support a perpetrator. Since members are taught that all leaders are called by God, they cannot believe that some trusted leaders are perpetrators.

Utah attorneys hesitate to take on a case for an LDS victim of sexual ecclesiastical abuse because they fear that their practice will be injured. In addition, they also realize that they will likely lose the case or that it will cost them millions of dollars and years of work to fight the LDS Church the legal system.

Lawyers who take on cases involving LDS ecclesiastical sexual abuse must pick their cases carefully and select jurisdictions where the judges and juries are more likely to be fair-minded.

The Mormon Church is consistently covering up sexual abuse that is perpetrated upon its innocent children by men in positions of trust and authority in the Church. Because the Church teaches its members that every bishop is called by God, this practice is unlikely to change unless many members speak up, and most are afraid to do so for fear of Church reprisal.

The LDS Church has knowingly adopted practices that destroy or attempt to destroy victims of sexual abuse.

This must stop.

Now.

For a full discussion on this topic, listen to this fascinating A Thoughtful Faith podcast:

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LDS Church Must Stop Silencing Abuse Victims

One of the strengths of the Church is creating a community where people can speak and listen to one another. Our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson said, “Learn to listen, and listen to learn from neighbors. Repeatedly the Lord has said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor.’ Opportunities to listen to those of diverse religious or political persuasion can promote tolerance and learning. And a good listener will listen to a person’s sentiments as well.”[1]

Each of us needs to feel validated and affirmed as we speak and listen to one another. Communication is a critical component of healthy relationships, families, organizations, and churches. Whenever people are silenced, they can quickly become lonely, sad, frustrated or even angry.

As we minister to others, one of the most important things we can do is to listen deeply to those who suffer. For the Church to exemplify the principle of ministering, it must demonstrate pure love for all abuse victims, including victims of ecclesiastical abuse. In order to be comforted and to heal, abuse survivors need to speak the truth about their abuse as part of the healing process. And they need to be heard. Abusers often attempt to silence their victims in order to perpetuate the abuse and to protect themselves.

Whenever we attempt to shame or silence a victim, we exacerbate the suffering of the survivor. Yet, when victims share details of abuse to their ecclesiastical leader, too often they are told:

• That couldn’t have happened. I know the perpetrator. He would never do that.
• If you have been a better person, the abuse wouldn’t have happened.
• You must tell no one about what happened to you. You might break up your temple marriage, ruin the perpetrator’s reputation or hurt his standing in the Church if you tell anyone about this.
• If you share details about your so-called abuse with anyone, we will disfellowship or excommunicate you.
• You are guilty of provoking or seducing the abuser. It is your problem, not his.
• You are making up the abuse. You are mentally unstable.
• You must repent. You are responsible for being abused.
• You must forgive and forget.
• You need to stop thinking about the abuse and instead pray and read your scriptures.
• If you tell others about the abuse, we will expose you, discredit you, shame and blame you.

Too often Church leaders shame and silence victims with these statements—and worse. Over several decades, I have counseled with many abuse victims who state they have been victimized as much—if not more—by Church leaders than by the abuser. Our Church must discontinue all practices and policies that silence and abuse survivors. When abuse is disclosed, that can say:

• I believe you.
• I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. How can we help? Can we provide counseling for you? Do you need to go to a safe place? Do you want me to call the police?
• You have shown a lot of courage to talk about abuse. Thank you for reporting the abuse.
• Would you allow me to notify your ministering brothers and sisters and the Relief Society or Elders Quorum President or would you prefer that I do not do so?
• Remember that you are not responsible in any way for the abuse. Please don’t blame yourself. The perpetrator is totally responsible for the abuse and we will hold him or her accountable.
• What can I do to help in your healing?
• We love you. You are a cherished son or daughter of God.
• Would you be willing to let a counselor coordinate with me how I can best help you?
• Please know that God loves you unconditionally and infinitely.

As the Church takes a pro-active approach in helping abuse victims heal, it will become a shining beacon. It will better comfort those who need comfort and mourn with those who mourn. It will follow the Savior’s example of reaching out to those who suffer bu providing them with succor and loving kindness.

1. Russell M Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” April 1991 General Conference