How the LDS Church Can Better Protect Its Children from Sexual Perpetrators

In the book The Sins of Brother Curtis: Story of Betrayal, Conviction, and the Mormon Church, the author shows how the LDS Church lacked essential safeguards to protect children from a serial sexual predator. Because lay leaders are seldom trained about abuse prevention and detection, have access to children and youth in one-on-one interviews, and do not consistently annotate records of abusers, the Church continues to leave children vulnerable to sexual abuse.

The Church must become more proactive in implementing procedures and policies that hold offenders responsible and that exonerate victims of shame and blame. The following solutions can reduce the number of sex offenses in the Church and can make the Church a safer place for all members:

1. Problem: Predators recognize that authority is usually unquestioned in the Church. Church members are told to only speak positively about their leaders and to always obey them.

Solution:  Church must teach members that leaders are fallible. Church members should be taught how to recognize and report abuse–even if trusted leaders are the abusers.

2  Problem: Unhealthy reverence for power and authority of male priesthood leaders.

Solution: Church should teach members to worship God alone and to remember that all members of the Church are imperfect, including Church leaders.

3. Problems: Little oversight of Church leaders and priesthood holders.

Solution:  The Church needs to implement increased supervision of leaders to ensure that they are not abusing children.

4. Problem: Perpetrators have easier access to victims through ministering and church assignments.

Solution: Two -deep service must be implemented for every Church calling where members have access to children, including bishop’s interviews.

5. Problem: Victims are often shamed by Church leaders so survivors seldom report abuse.

Solution: Church leaders must be trained to eliminate any procedure or policy that shames abuse victims.

6. Problem: Perpetrators know that the Church seldom reports abuse to police.

Solution: After the Church determines that the victim is safe, abuse should be reported to police.

7. Problem: Church leaders often rationalize sex abuse or blame the victims.

Solution: Church leaders on every level need extensive training on the dynamics of sexual abuse, including grooming and how perpetrators tend to isolate and shame victims.

8. Problem: The Church does not consistently annotate records of abusers, which allows them to abuse others.

Solution: Abusers’ church records should always be tagged and ward leaders should never call perpetrators to positions where they can abuse others.

9. Problem: Priesthood leaders tend to cover up the offenses of their colleagues and friends.

Solution:  Church leaders should be appropriately monitored to make certain that they hold abusers accountable. The Church must create a hotline for abuse victims, including ecclesiastical abuse victims.

10. Problem: Perpetrators observe that victims are sometimes silenced by the Church. This increases the likelihood that they may be attracted to join the Church or become involved in Church callings that involve children.

Solution: The Church must implement policies and procedures that make certain that survivors are not silenced.

11. Problem: Since the Church does not perform background checks on members who work with children in a Church calling (except in Scouting), serial sex offenders may be baptized and moved into Church positions.

Solution: Church should perform a background check before anyone is called to serve youth or children.

12. Problem: With the Church’s emphasis on missionary work, some members invite others into their homes and lives without due diligence.

Solution: Members should receive regular training on how to protect themselves and their families from sex offenders.

13. Problem: Church leaders often deal with pedophilia as a sin and not as a crime.

Solution: Church members and leaders should be taught that abuse is a crime and that is should be reported to police.

14. Problem: Church literature asks bishops to help pedophiles turn away from their sin, something they are unqualified of doing.

Solution: Bishop should be advised to turn all counseling over to trained professionals.

15. When abuse is reported, the Church does not implement meaningful reforms to protect LDS children. Bishops, for example, can still interview children alone even though there are some bishops perpetrated on children during interviews.

Solution: Church should eliminate all one-of-one bishop interviews with children and youth.

16. LDS Church officials and its lawyers typically attempt to evade responsibility by hiding behind the “free exercise of religion” clause of the Constitution, statute of limitations technicalities and clergy-penitent privilege statutes.

Solution: Church must adhere to high ethical standards and determine than protecting its members from abuse is more important than protecting its reputation.

The Church must use its resources and practices to protect children, not to protect offenders. Over the years, too many abuse survivors were further victimized by Church leaders who refused to listen to victims or who shielded their friends who were perpetrators. Too often, the Church has hired skilled attorneys to attack victims and to defend offenders.  This is unacceptable.

The Church must implement critical safeguards to better protect its children and members.  As it does so, it will better represent the Savior who asked us to love, serve, and defend the “least among us,” who include children, the vulnerable, and the abused.

 

 

LDS Church Must Stop Silencing Abuse Victims

One of the strengths of the Church is creating a community where people can speak and listen to one another. Our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson said, “Learn to listen, and listen to learn from neighbors. Repeatedly the Lord has said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor.’ Opportunities to listen to those of diverse religious or political persuasion can promote tolerance and learning. And a good listener will listen to a person’s sentiments as well.”[1]

Each of us needs to feel validated and affirmed as we speak and listen to one another. Communication is a critical component of healthy relationships, families, organizations, and churches. Whenever people are silenced, they can quickly become lonely, sad, frustrated or even angry.

As we minister to others, one of the most important things we can do is to listen deeply to those who suffer. For the Church to exemplify the principle of ministering, it must demonstrate pure love for all abuse victims, including victims of ecclesiastical abuse. In order to be comforted and to heal, abuse survivors need to speak the truth about their abuse as part of the healing process. And they need to be heard. Abusers often attempt to silence their victims in order to perpetuate the abuse and to protect themselves.

Whenever we attempt to shame or silence a victim, we exacerbate the suffering of the survivor. Yet, when victims share details of abuse to their ecclesiastical leader, too often they are told:

• That couldn’t have happened. I know the perpetrator. He would never do that.
• If you have been a better person, the abuse wouldn’t have happened.
• You must tell no one about what happened to you. You might break up your temple marriage, ruin the perpetrator’s reputation or hurt his standing in the Church if you tell anyone about this.
• If you share details about your so-called abuse with anyone, we will disfellowship or excommunicate you.
• You are guilty of provoking or seducing the abuser. It is your problem, not his.
• You are making up the abuse. You are mentally unstable.
• You must repent. You are responsible for being abused.
• You must forgive and forget.
• You need to stop thinking about the abuse and instead pray and read your scriptures.
• If you tell others about the abuse, we will expose you, discredit you, shame and blame you.

Too often Church leaders shame and silence victims with these statements—and worse. Over several decades, I have counseled with many abuse victims who state they have been victimized as much—if not more—by Church leaders than by the abuser. Our Church must discontinue all practices and policies that silence and abuse survivors. When abuse is disclosed, that can say:

• I believe you.
• I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. How can we help? Can we provide counseling for you? Do you need to go to a safe place? Do you want me to call the police?
• You have shown a lot of courage to talk about abuse. Thank you for reporting the abuse.
• Would you allow me to notify your ministering brothers and sisters and the Relief Society or Elders Quorum President or would you prefer that I do not do so?
• Remember that you are not responsible in any way for the abuse. Please don’t blame yourself. The perpetrator is totally responsible for the abuse and we will hold him or her accountable.
• What can I do to help in your healing?
• We love you. You are a cherished son or daughter of God.
• Would you be willing to let a counselor coordinate with me how I can best help you?
• Please know that God loves you unconditionally and infinitely.

As the Church takes a pro-active approach in helping abuse victims heal, it will become a shining beacon. It will better comfort those who need comfort and mourn with those who mourn. It will follow the Savior’s example of reaching out to those who suffer bu providing them with succor and loving kindness.

1. Russell M Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” April 1991 General Conference

Ministering

One of the Church’s strengths is ministering to others. Compassionate service is a great Mormon tradition. Members often assist those who are sick or bereaved, visit the widowed and lonely, feed the hungry and perform a host of other acts of Christ-like service.

Each week members serve toddlers, children, teens, and adults through music, lessons, and activities. Millions of members spend countless hours serving folks in their congregations and neighborhoods throughout the world. Most serve tirelessly and faithfully.

Although the Church can bless others, when its leaders are abusive, it can wound others. Too many LDS members have been abused by Church leaders who preyed on their innocence and trust. The effects of ecclesiastical sexual or physical abuse are devastating not only to victims but to those who love them.

Because abuse victims have nowhere in the Church to turn except to their LDS leaders, if the leaders are the abusers, they are silenced. Too often the Church shames and blames victims while it protects and aids abusers.

Some members who have attempted to chronicle ecclesiastical abuse have been excommunicated or threatened with excommunication if they speak up. Some who reported ecclesiastical abuse have lost their memberships in the Church. Instead of punishing the perpetrators, too often the Church punishes, gaslights, or silences the victims.*

When abuse occurs, the Church needs to listen to survivors and help them heal. To do this, the Church needs to authorize a team of crisis therapists, victim’s advocates, and other skilled professionals to listen to abuse victims who have been ignored or abused their ecclesiastical leaders.

This group would operate a 24-hour hotline and be empowered to hold perpetrators accountable and to make certain that survivors receive necessary help to recover. The group would also ensure that reported abusers are prevented from holding positions where they can further abuse others.

To follow Jesus’ example, the Church must minister to all abuse survivors, including those who were abused by people who hold—or have held—positions of trust in the Church. It must take necessary steps in order to follow its written policy: “When abuse occurs, the first and immediate responsibility of Church leaders is to help those who have been abused and to protect vulnerable persons from future abuse.”**

 

*One example of many with which I am personally acquainted includes this account: “When Black Eyes and Police Reports Don’t Matter,” Sisters Quorum, 22 February 2018.

**See LDS Newsroom, “First Presidency Directs Leaders to Prevent and Respond to Abuse,” 26 March 2018 (includes links to a First Presidency letter and the revised Handbook of Instructions “Preventing and Responding to Abuse”)

Other critical steps include eliminating one-on-one interviews with children and youth and providing Church leaders and members with training on ways to prevent abuse and how to recognize abuse symptoms.

 

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Mormons Speak is a forum where readers can listen to and learn from one another. Faithful LDS members manage and write posts for this blog.

The Church has blessed our lives in many ways.  We have seen people strengthened, comforted, and helped by Church members and leaders.  Our Church communities can be great places to worship God and to serve and be served.

However, we know some who were silenced, shamed, or deeply wounded by our Church. Instead of succoring them, the Church has harmed them.

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